The Arte of Toddlers
by Diniseni
Summary: Tear finds an old book in the Duke's manor and with Luke's help, accidentally turns everybody into toddlers! Can Tear and Luke, handle it? With the help of Mieu, Peony, and Asch of course!
1. The Arte

I'm being lazy. And this weird story just appeared in my mind. I'll update my other stories in a little bit. Maybe. But hey, while you're waiting, why don't you read this? And hey, here's that one line we all hate.

I don't own Tales of the Abyss. Aws...

Read on!!

* * *

Tear was wandering the Fabre manor. The party had decided to take a much needed rest in Baticul. And while the rest of the group sat in the court yard, she took a little self tour, finding a small library. A small, but knowledgable library. Tear gasped as she saw the old, decrepit book at the very end of the shelf. A book of all the artes Yulia ever knew.

"Guys!" Tear ran into the court yard. "Look at this!!"

"Whoa, what is this?" Anise asked.

"A book of every arte Yulia ever knew." Tear said. "I never expected to find it here though..."

"Neither did I. The Duke probably kept it for it's value." Guy said.

"Why don't we take a look at it?" Jade suggested.

"Yeah! I wanna see some artes!" Luke grinned.

"Me too!" Mieu said.

"Yes, most of these artes could only be used by Yulia herself, Tear being one of her descendants, I would like to see if she could cast them too." Natalia agreed.

"Hm..." Tear flipped through the pages of the ancient book. "I've seen some of these in books in Yulia city, oh, here's one. I need another seventh fonist though." Tear said.

"I'll help." Luke jumped up from the bench he was on. "What should I do?"

"Alright. Stand next to me, and hold my hand." Tear instructed.

Luke blushed slightly as he did so. "O-okay."

"He's blushing!" Anise laughed.

"Ah, young love!" Jade grinned.

"Shut up Jade!"

"Now, say the words in your mind, not out loud." Tear continued.

"Alright."

Suddenly, a bright light filled the court yard.

"What the?!"

"Oh my...oh dear..." Tear put her hand over her mouth.

In front of Tear and Luke, were four piles of clothing.

"Uh...what happened?" Luke asked.

"Um...did we do it right?" Tear looked at the book again. "Yes...then what...?"

"Mmf!" A muffled sound came from Guy's clothes, and a small head poked out of the collar.

"G-Guy?!"

The little blond boy looked at Luke with wide eyes. "Huh?" he tried to stand, but tripped over his over sized clothes.

"Guy? Are you okay?" Tear knelt in front of Guy. She blushed when she saw that he was naked.

"Waaah!!!" Guy cried and buried himself in his clothes.

"Did he lose his memory?" Luke asked. "Guy?! Do you remember me?"

Guy stayed in the clothes.

"I guess so..." Tear said. "Where's Mieu?"

"Right here!" Mieu dug himself out from under Natalia's clothes.

"Oh good, you're still the same." Luke said in relief.

"Yes, this arte only affects humans." Tear said.

"When does this wear off?" Luke asked.

"I don't know. I-the book didn't even have a description of the arte. I didn't know this would happen." Tear said as she dug Anise and Natalia out of their over sized clothes.

"Um..." Luke held up Jade's colonel uniform.

"What is it Luke?" Tear turned with Anise and Natalia in her arms, Guy clinging to her leg.

"I can't find Jade...Oh, there he is. I thought we lost him!" Luke grinned nervously as he pulled Jade from his shirt.

"They all look so cute..." Tear muttered.

"Can we get them some clothes? 'Cause you know...uh..." Luke said as he looked at the naked boy clinging to Tear's leg.

"Oh. Right."

Now the question was, how were they going to explain this to everybody?


	2. Day 1

It's chapter 2! Let's see how many chapters I can get down before my writer's block returns! Heh heh. Anyway, did you know that if you eat all your veggies, Luke will give you apple juice?

I don't own ToA

Read on!!

* * *

It had taken a while to explain to the Duke and the king what had happened to Natalia, Anise, Jade and Guy, and Peony would laugh his head off when he found out. As if it wasn't hard enough for Luke, now there were four hyper active 3 year olds running around the manor. Well, three, Jade wasn't doing much of anything.

"Anise, no! Get back here!" Luke chased the little Anise in and out of the flower beds. "Sorry Pere!"

"Ahahah!" Anise laughed.

"Don't worry about it Luke, I'm happy to see you happy!" the old sword instructer said while Tear chased Guy and Natalia through the court yard.

"Catch me! Catch me!" Natalia laughed as she ran. Maybe Luke shouldn't have gotten that ice cream...

Jade just sat on the bench quietly, watching Luke try to clean the dirt off Anise, when he decided, he wanted something. Not more strawberry ice cream...no definetly not more ice cream...

"Stand still Anise." Luke picked dirt and leaves out of her hair, and wiped dirt from her feet.

"Appol juice?"

Luke turned around. Jade stood behind him, looking up at him with a serious face. "Uh...Hm. Later okay?"

"No. Now."

"Later."

"No!" Jade stamped his foot. "I want it now!"

"Luke what are you doing?" Tear looked grabbed Natalia and Guy by the collar.

"Jade wants apple juice."

"Then give it to him!"

"I don't have any!"

"I'll get some!" Mieu volunteered.

"Hurry up then! I never thought I'd see the day when Jade threw a tantrum, and I don't want to!" Luke yelled. "Where's Anise?"

* * *

"Hello there! What's your name?"

"Anise."

The maids in front of the door crowded around Anise."She's so cute!" "Look at her eyes!"

"Anise! There you are!" Luke ran in.

"Oh, Master Luke! Is she yours?"

"Uh...I guess so."

"Aww!!"

"I'm hungry." Guy pulled Luke's pant leg.

"Come on then." Tear pulled Anise to the drawing room. "Let's go get a snack."

"When does this wear off? I'm tired." Luke complained.

"Tomorrow-"

"Really?!"

"Tomorrow, we'll go to Yulia city, there should be something there that can help us." Tear said.

"Aw."

"Stop complaining. Consider this practice if you actually have kids." Tear said.

"Who says I will?" Luke followed Tear with Natalia and Guy. Jade and Mieu followed with the apple juice.

"I said if."

"Can we haf ice cream?" Anise asked.

"No."

"Chocolate!"

"No."

"Can we-"

"No, Anise!"

"Is it nap time after this?" Luke whined again as he lifted Jade and Natalia into their chairs.

"Yes."

At least Natalia and Jade had SOME manners. Those two were two...grown up for toddlers. Natalia was princess serious, but Jade was just...Jade serious. Guy wasn't as bad as Anise though. She was everywhere.

"Alright-"

"Appol juice?"

"You've already had some Jade." Tear said, handing him a couple rice balls.

"I wan sommore."

"After nap time then."

"Man, Anise is getting more of this stuff on her than in." Luke wiped more rice off Anise's chin. "Why do they have to be so hyper!"

"You gave them ice cream." Tear scolded.

"Yeah, but I didn't know this would happen! Why can't they be more like Jade?" Luke pointed to the brunette...who wasn't there. "Where's he go?!"

"More like Jade...oh yes." Tear sighed.

It took a few minutes, but they eventually found Jade in the entrance hall. Hiding behind the display cannon, Jade sat with a glass of apple juice.

"Did Jade have some weird attachment to apple juice as a kid or something?" Luke asked.

"Jade, give me the glass." Tear ordered.

"No."

"Jade. Now."

"Uh-uh."

"One." Tear started counting.

"Oooooh."

Anise, Guy and Natalia watched from the wall.

"Some one's in twouble!" Anise pointed.

"Two."

"Jade giver her the cup, before she gets to tree, please!" Luke begged.

"Noo!!" Jade held the cup close.

Scratch that. Jade was acting just like any other toddler when he wasn't at the table.

"Jade. Now." Tear was getting annoyed now. "Don't make me say three."

"No."

"Three."

Jade bolted for the door.

"Jade! Get over here, now!" Tear spun around.

"I don't think so!" Luke jumped and caught the boy by the collar.

"Noo!!" Jade yelled and kicked as Tear took the glass of juice.

"This kid is weird..." Luke said to himself as Jade continued to kick and scream for apple juice. "Man..."

"It's nap time. And somebody needs a time out." Tear looked at Jade.

"He in twouble!" The other three kids laughed and pointed.

* * *


	3. Day 2

I don't own ToA. But this is my idea.

Read on!!

* * *

It took another few minutes to explain to Noelle what had happened to the other four members of the party, thankfully, she didn't ask too many questions. The trip to Yulia city went good. Well, after Luke bribed Anise, convinced Natalia that a monster wasn't going to kill them, and after he told Guy that he could 'look at' the plane later. All he had to do for Jade was give him apple juice and they were off.

"Grand father!" Tear ran to Teodoro as they arrived. Leaving Luke to make sure the rest didn't run off. Mieu wasn't being much of a help.

"Tear, I see-oh dear, what has become of your companions?" The mayor of Yulia City looked at the four toddlers running around Luke.

"Well, I found an old book in the Duke's manor..." Tear held out the book. "And Luke and I tried and arte..." she trailed off, looking at Luke, who looked like he would break down any minute now.

"Ah, I see," Teodoro examined the toddlers. "There may be a way to reverse it."

Luke jumped up with relief and excitement on his face. "There's a way!? I'm saved!"

"Yes, I'll leave the book with the cure in your room Tear." Teodoro turned to leave.

"Thank you, Grand father. Let's go Luke." Tear took Guy and Natalia.

"Why am I always left with these two?" Luke whined. Anise and Jade grinned and laughed at him. "Augh..."

$_$

"Hmm..." Tear flipped through the pages of the book left by Teodoro. "Here it is. But...I may take some time."

"What do we need to do?" Luke asked.

"We need Lanakear and Phen seeds. We have some Phen seeds, we can find Lanakear seeds on the Rugnican continent." Tear explained.

"There's no reverse arte?"

"No, this arte does wear off, but the time span is always different for every person. It could take a month for just one of them to return to normal. We don't have that sort of time right now."

"Oh, so what else to we need then?" Luke said, quickly dropping the idea.

"All we need to do is mix the seeds in any soft food, and let it set for a week to 16 days." Tear said.

"16 days?! We're stuck with these...menaces for two weeks?!"

"Hey!" the toddlers gave Luke annoyed looks. Jade splashed him with apple juice.

"At least a week, unless they return to normal by then." Tear also gave him an annoyed look. "Unfortunately, we'll need more than 20 of each seeds for all four servings, and those are rare seeds now."

"Oh..." Luke sighed and stood up.

"What are you doing?"

"Well, we ain't getting anything done by just sitting here! Let's go!" This time, he took Guy and Natalia, leaving Tear with Anise and Jade. She shuddered as they turned and gave her 'evil' grins. As Luke referred to them.

"Um...Let's go?"

And they were gone.

$_$

"Where have you been?" Luke asked as Tear finally bourded the Albiore II.

"Chasing them," she pointed at Anise and Jade. "These little DEVILS around trhe city!"

Luke leaned away. Anger was radiating off Tear. He looked at Anise and Jade.

The evil grins.

Oh they were devils all right. Good thing he acually had muscles enough to restrain them...

"Why don't we stop in Grand Chokmah on the way, we havn't had a chance to tell Peony yet." Luke suggested.

"Yes, that's a good idea." Tear calmed down. "He may be able to help us finding the seeds."

"Actually," Luke muttered to himself. "I was thinkin' of letting him help us take care of them..."

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Can we get ice cream on the way?" Anise asked.

"Um...maybe when we get there."

"YAY!!!" she cheered.

"Oh no..." Luke held his head in his hands, realizing what he'd done. He wasn't cut out for this. He was glad he would never have kids.

$_$

Peony stared at the little boy in front of him that was Jade.

Jade stared back.

He kept staring.

So did Jade.

Peony burst out laughing.

"HA HA HA! OH DEAR LORELEI! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" Peony laughed his head off. Toddler Jade looked really annoyed at this.

"As serious as the war, unfortunately..." Luke said."

"Lanakear seeds and Phen? Hm...I only know of Lanakear seeds. A bit north of Kaitzur." Peony said, bending down to stroke one of the rappigs.

"Oh, well, I'm sorry for wasting your time." Tear said.

"Hey, why don't you stay here for a while, you look like you haven't had a nap in a while." Peony said.

"We haven't! They've kept us up all day and night!!" Luke groaned.

"Heh, I'll send some one to find those seeds, in the mean time, rest here."

"Thank you, you majesty." Tear said.

"Hey, Peony?"

"Yeah Luke?"

"Did Jade have a weird obsession with apple juice, as a kid?" Luke look from Jade to Peony.

"A little...I guess,"

"...What's your definition of 'a little'?"

"Well I can't say exactly, I didn't meet him until he was about...six maybe." Peony laughed.

Jade was confused now. Were they talking about him? Or another Jade? What obsession? When he was six? But he was only three...right? Oh well. Back to the situation at hand.

"Apple juice?"

Peony looked at the boy. He looked like he was expecting something. "Huh?"

"I wan apple juice. I wan it now!" Jade crossed his arms.

Peony took a step back. "Whoa...Uh..."

"Hey, Jade! Uh, let's go to the kitchens!" Luke led him away. "There'll be apple juice there!" He mouthed 'Don't ask!' to Peony.

"Alright..." Peony turned to the three other toddlers. They were playing with the rappigs. "So, I guess you guy have never seen a rappig!" Peony smiled.

"Nope!" Guy pulled one of their ears. The rappig squealed.

"Hey hey hey! Don't do that!" Peony grabbed the rappig. "He doesn't like that!" Where did Tear go? Oh great. He was stuck with these guys. These hyper active toddlers covered in ice cream...Oh dear.

Tear closed her eyes and sighed. She was tired. She was a soldier, but she wasn't trained to take care of four toddlers. It was quiet before:

"HEY! GET BACK HERE! PUT THAT DOWN!"

"CATCH ME! CATCH ME!"

Her eyes snapped open. "What now?"

Out in the entrance hall, Peony was chasing Guy, Natalia, and Anise up and down the stairs. Anise was riding on a rappig, and Guy was running around with what looked like the lost celesti.

Jade and Luke were nowhere to be seen.

"Tear, help me!" Peony tried unsuccesfully to take the lost celesti from Guy.

"Alright!" Tear yelled. Every body froze. "Guy! Drop it!"

He dropped the sword.

"All of you! Come here! Now." Tear growled.

They all came.

"You all need a time out." Tear took their hands and left.

Peony picked up the sword and his rappig just as Luke and Jade came in.

"...What happened?" Luke asked.

"Tear got mad."

"...I see."

Peony looked from Luke, to Jade with his glass of apple juice, who was grinning.

"Oh, they got in BIIG trouble!!!" Jade laughed. Maybe this was pay back for when he got in trouble.

"You're just happy you didn't get in trouble this time." Luke said.

"What did he do?"

"Raided the kitchen for juice, and made a mess. That's about it." Luke explained.

"Can I have ice cream then?"

"Do you deserve it?"

"I think...I do." Jade yawned in the middle of his response.

"I think you need a nap."

"Nu uh."

"Hey, Jade, why not go to your room?" Peony bent down to Jade's level. "You'd get to see them in trouble."

"Hm...Yeah!" Jade grinned. Just like a liitle kid, and ran to their room.

Peony watched him go. "It's like the old Jade isn't even there..."

"It'll wear off, and besides, he still wears that grin all the time." Luke said.

"Yeah, well, see you tomorrow then, we'll have the seeds for you by then."

"Thanks." Luke followed Jade to their room.

Peony shuddered as he left. "I'm glad I'm not taking care of them...Little devils..." he shuddered again as he walked to his room.


	4. Day 3

Behold! Day three! Guess what? This story might actually have a plot. I had a review, with the idea of having Dist kidnap little Jade(which is kinda creepy because I had the same thought)! But anyway, now that I know that there is somebody else on the planet with the same thought, I think I go with it! Yays!

I don't own ToA.

Read on!!

* * *

She had let them play hide and seek. In the palace. Oh this was going to be FUN. Why? Tear didn't know. Luke didn't know either. Now, the only help they had was Peony, who hopefully knew every nook and cranny of the palace.

What was worse was the fact that they had agreed to the version where you had the catch the little monsters. Oh joy!

From their starting point in the entrance hall, Natalia had ran down the hall, down some stairs, past an angry guard, and ended up in a room filled with crates. She checked one. Empty. She checked another one. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. After checking a variety of crates, she decided to climb into one in the very back corner of the room. With all the boxes in here, no one would find her!

...What was a room full of crates doing in the palace...?

$_$

Guy looked around the room. Messy. Really, really messy. There were books every where. Fort made of books? Too obvious. He looked at one of the desks. Hm...He thought about it for a second. That drawer looked big enough...What the heck, he shrugged. What else are you gonna do with a drawer that big?

Using a pile of 3 books, (which would look right at home in this mess) he climbed into the drawer, and curled up into a ball. Forgetting to push the drawer back in all the way.

$_$

Did these two EVER separate from each other? Anise was leading Jade around the palace, looking for a good place to hide. As long as they didn't call ready or not, they still had time!

"Oh, I'm tired!" Anise whined as she sat on the edge of the fountain in the court yard.

"...I wan ice cream..." Jade said, sitting next to her.

"Me too...I didn't hear them call ready or not yet...do y'think we still have time?"

"I dunno..."

Suddenly Anise had an idea. Something to chase away the boredom...

"Wah-hey!" Jade cried as he was pushed backwards into the fountain. "Wh-what was the for?" he sputtered.

Anise started laughing.

"S-stop laughing!"

"You're all wet now!" she laughed.

Well now, if that's how you're gonna play it...

"Ahaha-Whoa!!" Anise stopped laughing as she was pulled from behind.

"Now you're all wet." Jade smirk.

"Yeah? Well," Anise splashed Jade. "Ha! Ah! No! Stop!" She shielded her face as Jade started splashing water at her.

This splashing war continued for another 13 seconds before the call echoed through the palace.

"READY OR NOT, HERE WE COME!!!!!"

"Uh oh..."

"We're outta time!" Anise climbed out of the fountain, Jade behind her.

"Do y'think we'll get in trouble for that?" Jade asked as they ran down the first door in sight.

"We were just havin' fun!" Anise said.

Jade looked at the puddles that they were leaving. "Yeah."

$_$

Natalia was the first to be found. Just because Peony thought that a room full of crates would be perfect for this game. And he was right, when they arrived in to room, some of the crate lids were open.

"Why do you have a room full of empty crates?" Luke asked.

"For...stuff..." Peony said.

"O...kay."

"Come on, let's look for them." Tear said, lifting up more lids."They could be anywhere in here."

"Room full of crates...pfft." Luke mumbled as he searched.

Five minutes of searching crate after crate, and they had yet to search the crate in the corner.

Natalia lifted up the lid, ever so slowly, and peeked out. They were almost here, maybe if she was quiet...She snuck out of the crate, and tip toed toward the door. Slowly, slowly...

"Hey!"

Darn. Spotted by the red head weirdo. Natalia ran as fast as her legs would carry her.

"After her!"

"You'll never catch me!!!!" She yelled behind her.

****

"I traveled *huff* around the world, but *huff* I couldn't catch *huff huff* this kid?" Luke said as they ended up in the entrance hall again.

"Hee hee! I win!" Natalia giggled.

"We'll catch the others." Peony said as he gasped for air.

"Come on, Natalia, let's go look for the others." Tear didn't seem as out of breath as Luke and Peony.

"Can't we rest for a bit?" Luke said.

"You can if you want." Tear took Natalia's hand.

"There was a reeaally messy room! There was books EVERYWHERE!" Natalia said. "Maybe they hid there!"

"Oh, then let's go check!" Tear said.

"Oh man...." Luke sighed.

****

"Okay, here's the plan." Tear bent down next to Natalia. "You stand in front of the door, and if there's anybody in here, you catch them."

"Okay!" Natalia gave her a salute.

Tear walked around the room, checking behind the desks, under the desks, and moving books.

"That one looks sush-shish-"

"Suspicious?"

"Yeah!" Natalia was pointing to the desk on the right side of the room.

Tear looked at the desk. The bottom drawer was slightly open, with a pile of books in front of it. She opened the drawer and suddenly Guy jumped out and pointed at Natalia. "No fair! You told her!"

"Nu uh!"

"Uh huh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Uh huh!"

"Stop it, both of you, Natalia didn't do anything wrong. Now let's get back to the start, and get Luke and Peony." Tear said.

****

"Still haven't found Anise or Jade." Luke said.

"No, but I think it's nap time for these two." Peony said, looking at Guy and Natalia.

"Yes, so do I." Tear said.

"We wanna look too!" Natalia said. Guy yawned.

"We'll look on the way then." Luke said. "Let's go, I'm beat."

****

"Okay, we'll go look for Anise and Jade, and you-what are you two laughing at?" Luke noticed Guy and Natalia, on the floor, giggling at something under the bed.

"What is it?" Tear lifted up the blanket and smiled.

"What?"

"Shh."

Hidden under the bed, were Anise and Jade, sleeping, wearing damp clothes, holding hands.

"Aw. That's cute," Peony said. "A little weird, but still cute."

"They're going to get sick like that," Tear said. "We should change their clothes."

"Yeah. Let's get them outta there." Luke reached under to pull them out.

* * *

While this was going on, some where far, far away, a man with silver hair was sitting at a desk, listening to a report. As soon as the oracle knight giving the report left, he smiled. A rather evil smile(not that his smile was ever good) and he laughed.

"Turned into toddlers, hm? Oh this is perfect!" He laughed, and left the room, muttering something about scary robots, and long haired, conniving, four-eyed colonels.

* * *


	5. Day 4Kidnapped!

I've been writing Jak and Daxter, so I took a little break from this. But worry not! I'm currently trying to write them both at once...trying...

I don't own ToA.

Read on!!

* * *

This was great. Just fantastic. Not only had Jade turned into a fussy, demanding, do-something-stupid-and-hurt-yourself-so-I-can-laugh-at-you toddler, he ran around everywhere AND had a cold. Dist stood in the mess that _had_ been his small home, hitting himself in the face with his book while Jade raided his kitchen for apple juice. He wondered how he got into this mess, and since he's probably too traumatized by Jade's screaming for apple juice to tell the story, I will!

* * *

**It all started one sunny, happy Gnomeday in the city of Grand Chokmah, Tear was trying to get Anise and Jade to take cough medicine, but it wasn't working. And so, Tear began the terrifyingly long journey to-**

**Dist: GET ON WITH IT SO I CAN GET THIS-THIS MONSTROSITY OUT OF HERE!!!**

**Jade: UGLY FAT FACE!!!**

**Dist: YOU LITTLE-ARGH!!!  
**

**...Yeah...**

**Anyway, as I was saying...**

"Come on you two, this is necessary for getting better!" Since Tear could not get Jade and Anise to take the medicine, Peony now stood in front of the two toddlers, holding the spoon of medicine. Which Jade promptly knocked into his face, and all over his shirt.

Peony stood up, turned around, wiping the medicine of his face, and said "Alright. They're your guy's problems now." and left.

"Oh great," Luke said.

"You two..." Tear sighed her usual sigh.

"S'not my fault that stuff tastes bad..." Anise muttered.

"It is your fault for getting a cold though." Tear put her hands on her hips.

"I have an idea!" Guy raised his hand. "Pick me! Pick me!"

"Guy?" Tear looked over to the other bed where Guy and Natalia currently sat.

"Um..." he looked around. "Come here!"

Tear knelt down in front of him. "What is it?"

Guy whispered something in Tear's ear. Natalia frowned. "Hey! That was my idea!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"Nu uh!"

"Yuh huh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Yuh huh!"

"Alright, alright! Enough!" Tear put up her hands. "It doesn't matter!"

Jade stared at them suspiciously. Either his nose was itchy and running or...they were planning on holding him down while the red head meanie forced the medicine down his throat! His eyes widened. "No!" he cried with a hoarse voice. He jumped off the bed and dashed for the door.

"Oh no you don't!" Luke grabbed Jade by the waist. "Not this time!"

"No!" Jade said as he kicked the air. "Nyaah!"

Tear saw the perfect chance. She grabbed the bottle and the spoon, quick as lighting, poured some medicine, and shoved the spoon into Jade's wide open mouth.

Jade stopped flailing immediately, blinking watery eyes. He unwillingly swallowed, and cringed at the taste.

Luke smirked in victory. Well, at least until Jade spit the spoon out at his face. Then he just glared at the three year old in his hands, holding him at arms length. "Ew. Bad boy."

"Meanie fat head."

Isn't Jade a _wonderful_ little kid?

"Don't call me that."

"Call you what?"

"What you just called me."

"What did I call you?"

...Let's check in with Anise.

Natalia and Guy had pinned Anise to the bed while Tear tried to get her to take the medicine. But she refused to open her mouth. What was this, the fifth spoon?

"Mm mm." she shook her head.

"Anise, this is the only time you will have to take it, then I won't bother you anymore."

"Nagogeesheaching won't work!" Anise quickly said.

"Negotiating." Tear corrected. "Anise, you want to get better, don't you?"

"Not with that icky, bad stu-" Tear quickly put the spoon in her mouth. "Eww!!" she swallowed some, but the rest dribbled down her chin.

"...Good enough." Tear sighed and wiped the cough medicine of Anise's face. She stood up. "Alright you two, get some rest. You'll get better soon."

"Which part? The cold or the arte?" Luke muttered as he tried unsuccessfully to get Jade under the blanket.

"Both hopefully..." Good thing Anise was going willingly...sort of. She refused to keep the blanket over her.

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing, Jade."

"...Can I have some apple juice?"

Luke twitched at the words that had been permanently etched into his brain. "Sure, Jade! I'll be _right. Back._" Whoa, is he going insane?

Jade smiled.

Tear sighed.

Anise laughed.

Guy laughed.

Natalia just giggled.

Tear sighed again.

Minutes passed, and Luke hadn't come back yet, had he really gone insane? Even though it's only been a few days?? Or a bit over a week, they were still waiting on the food with seeds in them...apparently they were supposed to turn blue or something...

Suddenly, a white gas filled the room.

"What?" Tear looked around.

"What's going on?!" The kids all said at once.

"Cover your nose and mouth! Quickly!" Tear said. She prepared to sing a fonic hymn, but while she was, the sleeping gas overwhelmed her senses, and everything went black.

* * *

A few hours later, Luke woke up in the hall. He groaned and sat up, rubbing his head. Then he realized his hair was all sticky. "What the?"

There was a cup next to him on the floor. "Oh right..." that gas...then... "Tear!"

_____

"ake up...Tear! Wake up!" Tear groaned.

"What?"

"Jade's gone!"

Her eyes snapped open. "What?!"

"Everyone else is fine, as far as I can see, but Jade's not here!" Luke exclaimed.

Tear stood up. She looked around, Guy and Natalia had collapsed on one bed, Anise was one another, and where Jade should have been, the blanket had been thrown off, and Jade was no where to be seen.

"Oh no..."

"Do you think someone took him?" Luke asked.

"I don't know...I hope not. Oh dear..."

"You know who I think did it?"

"What?"

"Dist."

* * *

**And that was how it happened. Then Dist floated away laughing like a manic with Jade in a bag in his lap. In a bag, I don't know.**

**Dist: Just get him out of here...**

**A crash could be heard in the kitchen. More crashes...Oh, I guess Dist didn't have any apple juice...

* * *

**

That's chapter 5, hope you liked it. I'll update as soon as I can...I guess. yay!


	6. Day 5The Stupidest Challenge Ever

Yay chapter six! Why do I keep saying yay? Why am I asking you this when I know you probably won't answer the question...?

I don't own ToA

Read on!!

* * *

To sum it all up, Dist did not have any apple juice. But of course, nothing lasts forever. Dist finally decided that he wasn't going to be beat by some 3 year old, even if he was previously thirty...five? How old was Jade?**Hmm, Dist you should know, you've been stalking him your whole life...**No matter how many times Jade sneezed on him, called him an ugly fat face, or laughed at his now bruised chin, he would prevail!!

He stalked into his kitchen, resisting the urge to begin hitting himself for letting a toddler that wasn't even 3 feet tall get the best of him. Everything had gone quiet, and now he knew why.

Jade had found the perfect replacement for apple juice: strawberry ice cream. Jade's face was covered in it, and there were several pink blobs on his shirt.

Dist isn't a good parent...

Dist could only gawk. Jade was eating the ice cream! HIS ice cream!

"G-give me that!" he snatched the tub of pink stuff from the child.

"No!" Jade promptly pulled the tub back. "Mine!"

And so began a furious game of tug-o-war.

"Give it to me! You can't have it! Let go!"

"Uh uh!" Every time the small bucket of ice cream came near him, Jade would pull out a hand full. Which was defeating the purpose."You le'go!"

How did Jade manage to get into the freezer anyway? Why weren't his hands freezing cold by now?Dist didn't know, he wasn't paying attention the the tower of boxes and bowls.

Evil child, Jade is. No, Dist was a god General! He couldn't be bested by a toddler!! With one final tug, Jade finally let go of the bucket.

Jade glared at his hands, covered in saliva and melted ice cream they were...traitors.

* * *

However, in Grand Chokmah, the mood was much more serious than the fight for ice cream.

Peony paced in front of two teenagers and three toddlers, who were standing with complete attention.

...

Well as much attention as you get from two teens trying to keep three little kids from running over to see 'the big pretty rainbows in the big cool water fall'.

"You leave immediately! There's no telling what Dist could be doing!" Peony said.

"What would Dist want with a three year old Jade?" Luke muttered.

Peony fixed him with a stare and said, "Stuff."

"...Ah! Scary thoughts! Scary thoughts!!!" Luke cried.

Tear hit him upside the head. "Stop that. You're giving me...disturbing thoughts."

Anise, Natalia and Guy snorted with laughter.

"Can we come too?" Guy looked up.

"No, it's too dangerous." Tear said.

"What's that mean?"

"It's bad, you could get hurt. And you won't like it." Luke answered for Tear.

"But Jade's there!" Anise protested.

"Not because he wants to be. Now stay with Peony, we won't be long." Luke pushed the black haired girl to Peony.

"But what if he does get hurt?" Anise looked back.

"Don't worry, if he does, we'll beat Dist to a pulp." Luke said.

Anise grinned at him. "Yeah!"

All the while, it was clear that Tear was getting annoyed with this whole thing.

* * *

It didn't take long to figure out where Dist was, all they had to do was ask people in Daath if they saw anything about of the ordinary. They were lead to a small apartment. A small apartment where yells of "Give it to me!" could be heard not long ago.

"Well. That was easy." Luke said. He approached the door. "3...2...1" he kicked the door open. "Alright Dist, where are...you..." he trailed off when he saw the mess.

"I don't think we need to guess what happened here..." Tear said.

Suddenly Dist was in the door way. Was that ice cream on his shirt? "What do you want!? What makes you think you can just barge in here and-"

"Where's Jade?" Luke cut him off.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Dist crossed his arms.

"Pfft yeah right, have you looked at this place? Don't try to deny anything you creep!" Luke cut him off.

"I'm not denying anything!" Dist tried again.

"Oh yeah, and this isn't Jade." Tear said from behind him.

"Wh-what the?!" Dist looked from the door to Tear. "Where did-how did-OW!" Tear punched him, sending him to the floor, and proceeded to stomp on him. All the while Jade smiled, or smirked, happily in her arms.

Luke decided to hang back, letting Tear do the work. Obviously Tear was angry and annoyed, and wanted this whole thing to be over with. What Dist did interfered, and Luke wasn't about to get involved with his punishment.

"Ow, hey! I don't-OW! Stop th-quit-ouch!"

Angry tired women like Tear are better off left alone, Luke concluded as he looked back at the twitching form that was Dist. He actually felt a bit sorry for the man.

All the way back to Grand Chokmah, Jade didn't let go of Tear, or the glass of juice he was given.

Luke sighed as they flew. Not as hard as it seemed, he thought. Quick and easy. He smiled. Dist wasn't so easy without his robots, and when he was up against some one so ticked off. He finally concluded that he was gonna do a bit more, Tear needed more sleep, and he didn't want to be in the same situation as Dist. Though he doubted that she would go that far...You never know, Luke, you never know.

* * *

The trip to Daath and back had taken the whole day, they didn't get back until the next. Luke was especially happy at what he found when they got back.

"See, told you he'd be okay!" Anise bragged.

"You didn't say anything!" Natalia said back.

"Yeah I did!"

"Nu uh!"

"Yuh huh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Hey! Hey! Calm down, he's alright, that's what matters!"

"Guy!" Luke ran and bear hugged him. "You're back to normal! Oh yes! You're BACK!"

"Whoa! Calm down Luke!" Guy tried to pry the over excited red head off. "Jeez, you two look...tired."

"You have. No idea." Teat said. She held a sleeping Jade to Guy. "Hold him. I'm taking a nap..."

"Jade?" he looked at the boy. "Wow he's...very small. So how did baby sitting go? Was I bad at all?"

"...Bad is an under statement..." Luke whined.

"Oh eh heh, really?" Guy scratched the back of his head.

"Ugh, especially that little thing." Luke pointed to Jade.

"Well, you're technically only seven so..."

"Don't remind me...I wonder what Asch is doing!" Luke snapped up. "Oh if he comes here, he ain't leavin' 'til he gets to do some baby sitting!" Luke said with an evil face.

"I think you need a nap too..." Guy said nervously. He noticed that Natalia was holding onto his leg, and Anise was giving her version of a worried stare at Jade.

It was at this moment that Luke had a sudden head ache then:

"Don't even think about it, replica! I'm not coming near there!" Asch's voice said.

"Heh," Luke laughed at the voice. "I bet you wouldn't be able to handle it!"

"...Who's he talking to?" Natalia looked at Guy.

"Uh...an invisible friend?"

"Yeah right! They're not real!"

"Well it's hard, I shouldn't explain it."

"What, and you can?" Asch's voice said.

"Well I'm still alive, aren't I? What, are you scared of a couple of little kids?"

"I am not!"

"Then why don't you come here?"

"..."

"I thought so!"

It was evident in Asch's voice that he was getting ticked off, and getting closer to accept the obvious challenge. "I would last better than you are!"

"Pfft. Uh huh."

"Grr! That's it! A few kids are hardly a challenge!" Asch's voice disappered. Luke grinned in victory, Asch having obviously gotten ticked off enough to take this ridiculous challenge.

"Oh yeah. This is gonna be good!" he laughed. "Eh....I'm takin' a nap."

"Eheheh...oh man..."

* * *

Well there's chapter six for ya! Sorry I haven't been updating lately. If you wanna see my latest work, just go to the crossover section! That story's getting barely any hits! (Yeah that's right, I'm practically advertising the thing, mostly because I need help thinking of a suitable title...)


	7. Day 6Asch isn't good at this at all

Behold! The seventh chapter of what seems to be the most popular story I've ever written!! Yes! ^^ Now let's see what trouble we can get Asch into...

I don't own ToA.

Read on!!

* * *

Asch stomped his way to the palace of Grand Chokmah. Cursing himself. Curse his idiocy. Curse his inability to not get mad at the replica. Curse his bad habit of taking any challenge. Curse everything!! People moved out of his way as he radiated anger.

He managed to calm himself. Sort of. What could three little kids possibly do? Nothing. They were weak...Though that _Necromancer_ could be a little problem...Heh...little...Asch hit himself for the inside joke. "Ugh."

He now found himself in the palace. How did he get here so quickly? I'm the author, I said he was there. He stood there, in the entrance hall, staring down three little kids. Natalia just had a small wide eyed look, while Anise and Jade wore what Luke called 'the evil grins'.

"Huh." Jade said. "You look just like the red head meanie, does that mean you're a red head meanie too?" he grinned.

Asch's eye twitched. Jade just smiled in pretend innocence.

"Hey, Asch!" Guy called from the top of the stairs. Luke and Tear were right behind him.

"Where's the emperor?" Asch asked.

"He had to go out for a while, but he'll be back this evening." Guy said.

"So..." Luke said. "You actually came."

"..."

"Can you handle it?" Luke smirked.

"What ever you can do, I could do." Asch growled.

"Okay then good luck." Luke said.

Asch raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean by that?"

"Well, we've been taking care of them for so long, and we, of course, need a little rest! And you goes could...let's say, use this time to, say, get to know each other!" Luke grinned, walking out of the palace, Guy and Tear in tow.

"Hey! Where do you think you're going?!" Asch yelled.

The doors closed.

As the three walked out, Guy whispered to the guards.

"Make sure that guy doesn't leave."

"Right."

Asch found himself cursing himself again. Dammit. Right into the replica's trap!! Asch you idiot. He stared at the three kids that were giving him strange looks...No, mischievous looks. Evil looks. He twitched again. Oh boy.

Anise hopped forward. "Wanna play a game?" she asked.

Innocent enough.

"Uh...sure." Asch said blankly.

Anise grinned, and poked his leg. "You're it!!"

The two girls were a blur as they ran away.

Asch looked at the boy that was still left.

Jade.

The evilest of all, Luke said. Especially when he was with Anise. Then the evilness just doubled.

"Aren't you going to run away?" Asch asked.

He shook his head.

Asch was quickly getting annoyed. "Why not?" He growled.

Jade looked up at him with an innocent look.

"I want apple juice."

* * *

Asch was hiding in the corner. Yes you read right, hiding. He told the boy that he could have apple juice after. And he made the same mistake as countless others had(countless others being Luke, Peony and Dist.). The little boy that was Jade had immediately gotten mad, and he demanded that he have the juice right then and there. Asch cursed himself for the hundredth time. He was letting this little kid take advantage of him! But he didn't want to come out of the corner. Nope, a bitten and swollen finger was good enough.

He then remembered the instructions Luke had given him the night before.

1. When Jade asks for apple juice. GIVE. IT. TO. HIM. IMMEDIATELY.

2. Don't let Jade have any straw berry ice cream.

3. When Anise and Jade are together, don't let them out of your sight. EVER.

4. Don't let Natalia braid Anise's hair. Or else you'll lose some of your hearing for a bit.

And finally. Never, ever, EVER say no when Jade asks for the apple juice.

Asch smacked himself. Damn it.

It was time to take advantage of the situation! Partly because Asch id gonna hate me after this, and partly because Asch needs to catch Anise and Natalia. And stop Jade before he eats all the ice cream...Jade's eating the ice cream?!?!

Ashe jumped up. AH! JADE'S EATING THE ICE CREAM!!!

"Hey!" he stepped toward the kid sitting by the tub of pink stuff, reaching his hand in then shoving it into his mouth. "Stop Th-HEY!" Asch yelled 'hey' again as a metal spoon came in contact with his forehead. "What the-Ah!" another spoon. He glared at Jade. Jade glared back, spoon at the ready. Asch sighed, counted to ten, then started toward him again, slowly. "Look, I'm not going to take it away, I'm just going to..." Asch said slowly, unable to think of an excuse. He soon paid for this via a large blob of strawberry ice cream to the face. "Ah!!" he whipped the cold stuff away from his eyes to glare at the child. He was gone.

"Damn it!" he yelled as a voice echoed through the halls.

"YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE!!!"

Asch glared at the floor. Why couldn't he do this?!?! He then found himself licking the ice cream off his fingers. Yum. Realizing what he was doing, Asch shook his head violently. No!! He had to find those damned kids! Even if it took the whole day! He had to prove that he could do this just as good as that stupid dreck!!

It wasn't that hard. All he had to do was follow the trail of ice cream. Hm...he wondered what Peony would say about this... Oh no. Asch's eye twitched for the millionth time. The trail of ice cream left by Jade led to the court yard. And you was in the court yard? Oh, only Anise and Jade. Eating the ice cream. Great. the only thing worse than Anise and Jade together was Anise and Jade together on a sugar rush. Crap.

Before Asch even took a step, he was covered in some strange mixture of fountain water, saliva, and strawberry ice cream. "YOU LITTLE BRATS!!!" He yelled.

And then they were gone. Laughing their heads off.

**...Asch you idiot. You brought this upon yourself. You're on your own now.**

* * *

It was evening when Luke, Tear, Guy and Peony arrived back to the palace.

"So, how do you think Asch is doing?" Luke asked.

"Well...uh judging by the looks of this place..." Guy trailed off as they stepped into the palace.

Luke was ont the floor laughing.

Tear was speechless.

Peony could only gawk. "ASCH!!!!!!!!"

* * *

Hehe, there's the next chapter, and it's 11:41 right now, and my eyes are starting to hurt. I think I shall go to bed.

Until *yawn* Next chapter!

* * *


	8. Day 7 The 'Amusement' Park

Yay! Another chapter! Asch will be staying for a while, I've decided. Just so I can put him through this crazy thing too! Yes, this is called The "Amusement" Park! Why is amusement written in quotations, well you'll just have to keep reading, now won't you?

Also, I'm aiming for a total of at least 1000 hits this month, I was about half way there last time, but I'm a lot closer this time, hopefully I'll make it! I'm less than 300 away already!! Of course, I'm getting a lot more hits than I thought, but I think that's because humor is what I usually write so...

I don't own ToA! But this craziness is all mine!!

Read on!!

* * *

What was he doing here? He should be looking for the Jewel of Lorelei! Oh yeah...Peony had glared holes into his head so that he would clean up the palace. Asch swore to Lorelei and Yulia that the mess wasn't his fault. But really, this was Asch here, would three little kids really make this giant mess? Don't worry Asch, it won't last much longer...There was something very important that he learned in the past few hours.

The blue food.

The blue food was the key! Not the Key of Lorelei, but they key to fixing this mess so they could all get on with their lives and kill Van!!! Asch smirked as he continued to mop the floors. Just give them the blue food, and this will all be a dream! But...Asch's face turned to his usual sneer. Which ones would eat it? Anise probably wouldn't go near the food, and Jade would follow her lead. Or which ever. Natalia might...she had a thing for unusual foods. But there was only one serving. Surely they'd rather give it to one of the devils that got him into this mess?

Screw that, Jade wouldn't even go near the cough syrup, let alone a plate of _blue food. _

Anise would probably start running around yelling about how the food was poisonous and she'd die and that they'd all have to come to her 'dead party thingy' or else she'd haunt them until they died.

So they only one who would eat it was Natalia. Hm...

"Asch, how come you're trying to mop a hole into the floor?" Someone asked behind him. He turned around, still sneering.

"What do you want?" he said, he threw a glare at the brunette that stood, grinning, next to his replica.

"Just checking up on you...And he wanted some apple juice." Luke pointed to Jade.

Asch's eye twitched. "Apple juice?"

"Yeah you know that yellow stuff that-"

"I know what it is!!"

Jade laughed at this.

"Shut up! You got me into this mess!" Asch exclaimed, jabbing a finger at Jade.

"Heheh, which one, this one or-"

"Shut up dreck!" Asch hit him with the mop.

"Hey!"

"Luke, hurry up, Asch, stop making a bigger mess." Peony poked his head in. "We're on a schedule! Let's go!"

"What do you mean?" Asch growled.

"We're going on a trip." Peony smiled.

Asch glared at the emperor. Why in Lorelei's name did he come here?

"We're gonna go to the park, so you're gonna clean aaalll this up before we go, an' if you don't-" Jade grinned and pointed at Asch.

"Come on Jade, let's just get in and out, or Asch will get mad..." Luke cut the kid off before he could finish his threat.

"You little...Grr...." Asch glared at the floor as he continued to clean up ice cream and sticky apple juice from the floor.

* * *

In front of the Grand Chokmah Amusement Park, they stood. Armed with water, snacks, and of course: Apple juice. The blue food was going to wait until tomorrow. They decided that Natalia would probably eat it whether it was blue or not, because Luke seemed to be using Jade and Anise for 'revenge'. Oh yes, revenge is sweet! Literally...

Maybe...3 hours have passed, which I'm not going to describe because they contain much idiocy and making fun of Asch-ness.

Luke would laugh his head off when Natalia wanted Asch to come on a ride with her, which was mostly the merry-go-round.

"Damn it! I'm going to _kill_ who ever invented this thing!" Asch growled as Natalia dragged him off again.

"Haha!! Have-ha-fun-Ahahaha-Asch!!" Luke laughed.

"That's it! You're coming with me!" Asch stomped back, grabbing Luke's arm.

"H-hey! What are you-"

"Have fun Luke!" Guy started laughing.

"Guy!!" Anise came up behind him and hugged him.

"Ahh! G-get her off!!!" Guy started shaking as he fell on his knees, covering his head.

"Anise!" Tear pulled the little girl off Guy's back. "Don't do that!"

"Why not?" Anise puffed out her cheeks.

"I think he's afraid of girls." Jade whispered.

Peony heard this and laughed.

"S-shut up!" Guy said.

"Hey! Let go of me! I'm not getting back on that thing!" Luke cried in the distance.

"If I am, you are!" Asch growled.

Natalia payed no attention to the original and the replica as she pulled them back to the merry-go-round and its little jingles played by some clown.

"...I think he's scared of the clown." Jade whispered to Anise, pointing to Luke.

Anise started laughing. "Scared of clowns! Ha!! What a moron!!"

"Anise! That's not nice!" Tear scolded.

"Yeah, even if he is scared of clowns." Peony said. "Why don't we leave these guy here? It doesn't look like our little princess is gonna leave there anytime soon, let's go find something else to ride."

"Can we have some candy?" Anise asked.

"Or ice cream!" Jade said.

"Or chocolate!"

"Or ice cream!"

"Or cotton candy!"

"Or ice cream!"

"Eh..." Guy sighed, wondering if he acted anything like this.

"Don't worry Guy, you weren't that bad..." Tear sighed with him.

"Jeez I wonder how long it takes for this to wear off, we might kill Asch before we do..." Guy said, glancing at the ex-God General, who was glaring at anything and everything as he sat on one of the many multicolored horses of the merry-go-round.

"It's a Ferris wheel!!!" Anise exclaimed.

"Perfect!!" Peony clapped.

"..." Jade stopped walking.

"Huh? What is it Jade?" Guy asked when he noticed that Anise was standing alone.

"...I don' wanna go on the Ferris wheel." he finally said.

"Why not?"

"I don' wanna." Jade shook his head.

"Jade, are you scared of heights?" Guy asked.

"No!"

"Then why don't you want to go on?"

"I jus' don' wanna!" Jade said.

"C'mon Jade! I'm coming too!" Anise pulled on Jade's hand, grinning.

Jade considered this, but didn't move his feet.

"It isn't really that high either." Peony said.

Jade stared at the Ferris wheel. "..."

"C'mon!" Anise pulled harder, and managed to make Jade take a step. Peony noticed that this would take all day if this kept up. He stepped forward, a swung Jade over his shoulder.

"Okay, let's go!" he smiled.

"Hey!! Lemme down!" Jade stared flailing.

"Your Majesty, really-" Tear started.

"Hey, come one Jade, when we get off, we'll get you what ever you want, okay? Just stop yelling!" Guy said.

"Guy!" Tear said.

Jade stopped yelling almost at once.

"Oh no..." Tear shook her head. Great.

"Yeah! Let's go!!" Anise started running, dragging every one else with her.

Tear decided that she would be the one to sit with Anise and Jade while Guy and Peony sat in the seat behind them. Jade sat in the middle of the seat, and refused to move closer to either side. Ice cream would get him on the infernal wheel, but it wouldn't make him move over. Nope. A great many people stared at them before they got on, but even more were staring now as they watched Jade repeatedly shake his head as Anise asked him to move over.

"But you can see everything! Higher higher!!" she cheered. Jade however, sat there like rock with his eyes shut tight, only opening then when the wheel 'mysteriously' came to a stop. He opened his eyes and gasped, they had stopped right at the top. Anise grinned with excitement as he clung to Tear's arm.

"Jade, it really isn't that bad!" Tear said, but Jade's grip didn't loosen. "Oh dear..."

"You know," Peony said as he looked at the park below him. "This is gonna be one hell of a field trip."

"Why?" Guy asked.

"You offered to give Jade what ever he wanted when he got on. And when ever Jade gets ice cream..."

"What?"

"Let's say his system goes in overdrive for a while, did you not see what happened in the palace?"

"..." Guy did't say anything until the Ferris wheel started to move again. "Oh man..."

"Uh huh..."

"Hit me when this is all over. We're probably gonna get a lot of attention before we leave..."

"No problem Gailardia. No problem."

+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+

Surprisingly, Jade sat quietly as he ate his ice cream. They all sat at the picnic table, watching him. Like they were waiting for something to happen...

"Oh ice cream! Can I have some?"

Natalia jumped onto the bench, Luke and the still glaring Asch followed behind. Luke was constantly looking over his shoulder every once and a while.

"So how was it?" Guy asked.

"Great!" Natalia threw her hands up.

"Fine."

"Fine?"

Asch snorted. "Scared of clowns...For the love of Yulia...Pfft..."

"Shut up!" Luke said, looking over his shoulder again. "I had a bad experience!"

"Oh yeah..." Guy sighed. "We couldn't bring Luke out to see the circus so we kinda...brought it to him..." he laughed.

"What is it Anise?" Tear asked, Anise was pulling on her sleeve.

"Um..." Anise she looked at the empty seat beside her.

"......Where is Jade?" Tear said.

"I dunno." Anise said.

"What? He was here a minute ago!" Peony exclaimed.

"He wasn't there when we got here." Asch grumbled.

"Well get up then! We gotta find him!" Luke said. "You check there, We'll check over here!" Luke grabbed Asch's arm and stared running in the opposite direction from the merry-go-round.

"...Well, now we know that he's really scared of clowns..." Guy said.

"Let's go! This place is huge, and this is Jade with ice cream we're looking for!" Peony said.

"Let's go!!" Anise cheered as she followed Peony.

"Well, let's go then, Natalia, Guy." Tear said, taking Natalia's hand she walked off, Guy followed behind.

* * *

"Hm..." Jade looked at the clown in front of him. He certainly wasn't scared of clowns. There was a rather large grinning one in front of him right now, and if it took all day, he was getting one of those balloons.

"So which one do you want?" The clown asked in that idiotic voice adults always used to talk to him.

"...Tha' one." He pointed at the largest, red one.

"Alright." He reached for the balloon.

Suddenly Jade changed his mind. "No, tha' one!" he pointed to the blue one.

"Huh? Okay," The clown put the red one back.

"Uh.." Jade stared at the other ones floating just above his reach.

"Hm? Change your mind again?" the clown asked.

"...I wan' that one." Jade pointed to the red one again.

"...How about I give you both? You can give one to your little friend." the clown said, referring to Anise.

"...Okay!" Jade grinned. Success! He walked away with the two balloons in his hand. He laughed, every time he jumped, the balloons carried him a couple of inches higher. "Whee!"

His smile was gone when he reached the table that he was at. "Huh?" It was empty. "What?" He looked around him. He couldn't see anybody. Not even one of the red headed meanies. He looked at his ice cream that he now noticed was on the ground. "Anise?"

No response. Just the voices of the people around him. A lady walked up next to him. "Are you lost?" she asked.

He stared at her for a second, his lower lip quivering.

"Hello? What's your name?"

"Wh....WAAAAAAHH!!!"

"Whoa! Hey! C-calm down!" the lady said.

"They- they're gone!!" Jade cried.

"Don't worry! We'll find them!" the lady tried again, then looked around. Tears continued to stream down the boys face. "Wait right here!" she walked off.

* * *

"This is the Lost Child Service, there is a little boy, with brown hair, and brown eyes, crying at a picnic table with two balloons. Will the parents of this child please go to the picnic table and pick him up?" A drawling, annoyed voice rang through the park.

Luke stopped immediately. "Oh crap...Jade!"

He turned around and started running back the way he came. Asch rolled his eyes and stomped back to the picnic table. "Stupid little brat..."

_+_+

Jade continued to wail at the top of his lungs as he stood by the picnic table, the two balloons still in his hand.

"Jade!"

He kept crying.

"Jade calm down! Look, we're here now!" Tear said as she knelt down beside him.

"Come on Jade, calm down. It's alright!" Guy said.

"Yeah!" Natalia said.

"Jade!" Luke, Asch, Peony and Anise joined them.

"What's going on? Why is he crying?" Peony asked.

"Jade! Stop crying!" Anise exclaimed.

Jade sniffed. "I c-came back an-"

"And?"

"Every-every one w-was gone!" Jade said, looking at every one around him.

"Why did you leave in the first place?!" Luke exclaimed. Jade held up the two balloons he was holding. "You wanted-why didn't you just ask?"

"Because you wouldn't go near the clown." Jade said. "An' you left before I came back!"

"...Nice going dreck." Asch said.

"Shut up!"

"Well, I think we've attracted enough attention...But why do you have two balloons Jade?" Peony asked, looking at the red and blue balloons in the child's hand.

"Oh." Jade looked at the balloons as Tear whipped off the last of his tears, and looked at Anise. He held out the red one for her. "I got it for you..." he said shyly.

"Huh? Really?" Anise grinned and took the balloon.

Asch looked away. "..." Toddler romance...Pfft. Wow.

"Asch? Asch? Hello? Are you coming?"

"What?" Luke was right in front of him.

"We're leaving." Luke said.

"...Good." Asch turned and started walking. "I'm getting out of here..."

"Nope, you're staying with us until this is done!!" Peony said as they left.

"I am not!"

"Yes you are, because I said so. And if you don't, I'll make sure you die a horrible death that involves Jade and ice cream."

Asch shuddered.

* * *

Mwahaha. Chapter eight! Hmm...what do do now...


	9. Day 8 and 9The dreaded Stomach Ache

Okay, a fair bit of writers block has kept my updating to an excruciatingly low and annoying level. But fear not! I managed to get this chapter through! Featuring: the return of Natalia!

I do not own ToA.

Read on!!

* * *

It was one of those days. Just one of those days. Asch had gotten so annoyed with the toddlers that he'd resorted to chasing Jade throughout the palace in an unsuccessful attempt to make him eat the blue food. Lorelei knew where Anise had run off to... Now he was staring at the table as Natalia happily ate the 'chocolate' flavored stuff.

Jade also watched as she stuffed spoon-full after spoon-full into her mouth, with the eye of a health inspector. Making mental notes and 'hmm'ing as he watched. Finally, he decided he was thirsty.

"Can I have some-"

"Yes!" Asch slammed a fist on the table, not even letting the child finish.

Jade grinned, and positioned a chair in front of the freezer. This was a regular occurrence now, he would start, and then Asch would get so annoyed, and say yes. Life was good. Now if only Luke would co-operate with him Like Asch...

* * *

_Maybe...a day later or something..._

It was just one of those days...One of those days when a princess ends up running around the palace, soaking wet.

And it was one of those days when Natalia wondered how she ever got dragged into this. And when she wondered how she ended up baby-sitting Anise. Why Anise was even a toddler was beyond her. All she knew was that Tear and Luke used a strange arte, and then suddenly she was here, and Anise and Jade were toddlers. And Asch was here too...Luke and Tear(surprisingly enough) had bombarded her with hugs, and Guy, Asch and Peony had given her many extremely 'thankfull' thanks.

She actually hadn't seen Jade yet...

_It must have been horrible..._She thought. She was glad that Anise was sleeping. She shuddered as goose bumps suddenly appeared on her arms, and something cold connected with her skin. She turned her head slowly, to find a small brown haired boy touching her arms with a small metal spoon.

"Hiya!" he said happily.

Was this Jade? This grinning little boy standing next to her, sliding a metal spoon down her arm, holding a tub of strawberry ice-cream? "Uh, hello?"

He stared at her with a critical stare(or as critical as you get from a toddler). "Did you really eat the blue food?"

"Blue...food?" she'd eaten blue food?!

"So do you remember me? 'Cause Guy didn't." Jade continued. "Does that mean that your aren't Natalia, and he isn't Guy?" he pointed a finger at the sleeping man sprawled over the bed across the room. "What happened to them?"

This was Jade alright.

"They're here," Natalia said. "They remember you. I remember you."

"So do you wanna play a game?" Jade asked, shoveling another spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. It was then that Natalia realized that the little boy was covered to the pink stuff. Where was Asch? Why was he letting Jade eat al of this ice cream.

She looked at Luke and Tear. They were sleeping as well. They told her never to let Jade have the ice cream...How bad could it possibly be?

* * *

Now Natalia knew how Tear felt when she chased this laughing, hyper active toddler around. Now, if Anise were here, oh that would make. Her. Day. Perfect!

"Now look here! Stop running!" How much energy can he possibly have?! "You need a time out, I'm not going to play this game with you anymore!" Jade ignored her as he ran down the stairs. The floors were quite slippery now, as Jade wad spent some time in the fountain outside. Now, she thought it was done when SHE landed in the fountain...Nope.

It was now that Asch decided to step in. He'd decided that he'd be bested by the ice cream wielding child no more! The fact that he was covered in the ice ream that Jade had flicked at him didn't really go with the story however.

"Just let him finish, and then talk to him." Asch said. They were spying on said toddler, who'd taken it upon himself to have a glass of apple juice. "As long as you don't bother him, we'll be fine."

"Oh, because I'm already just peachy." Natalia said, shivering slightly in her damp clothes. "Who knew that the colonel would be such a..."

Obnoxious, demanding, do-something-to-hurt-yourself-so-I-can-laugh-at-you, sugar high brat?" Asch finished.

"...Not what I'd say, but yes, I guess so."

"So how are we doing today?" Peony suddenly came up behind them. "Hey, do you know who waxed the floors?" he added.

The pair in front of him gave him dark looks.

"...I see. Well then..." he raised an eyebrow as he caught site of Jade sitting one the counter. Or rather, laying on the counter, leaning over the sink, groaning. "What's up with him?"

"He wasn't like that a minute ago." Asch said.

Peony slowly approached the groaning boy. Just in case, because you never know with some one like Jade. "What's wrong Jade?"

"I don't feel good..." Jade moaned.

"What's you eat?" Peony asked.

Jade didn't reply, but Asch did. "Only about a hundred pounds of ice cream!"

Peony resisted the urge to laugh. "Well Jade, this is something called...a stomach ache."

"Why not give him some med-" Natalia started, Peony cut her off.

"Are you kidding? This kid won't even go near the cough syrup." Peony snorted.

"Well what else should we do? Let this monster throw up on us?" Asch growled.

"Hm..." Peony sighed. "I have an idea!"


	10. Day 10Where's the real Anise?

We're almost done!! Anise will return to normal in this chapter. I debated that for a while, but alas...

I don't own it...

Read on!!

* * *

And so, it was one of those days where a little boy leaned over the sink on the royal kitchens, groaning and moaning about his 'dummy tummy', or something along the lines of that....It was also one of those days where a very high pitched scream rang through the palace, and Luke ran away from the room shouting "I'm sorry!!" and "I'm scarred!!!"

**Why was this going on? Well...Everybody is too pre-occupied right now, so I'll tell the story...Again...**

Peony laughed as he held his 'concoction' up to the light. Oh it looked like apple juice. It _looked_ like apple juice. Heh, he was glad he took medicine in high school...This was not apple juice, although it did have a rather apple-like after taste, NO! It was some form of medicine that I'm not explaining, because it's was a mixture of Tylenol, and something else...

Anyway, Jade stared at this cup, unsure if he wanted to drink it because Peony was just cackling as he held it. Saying 'I've done it!!'...He took the glass in both hands, ignoring his upset stomach. There had to be something in it...Looked like apple juice...smelled like apple juice...Had a strange, tangy apple-like after taste...Oh what the heck. He took a gulp...and quickly spit it out.

"Argh!" Peony wiped his face with his sleeve. He was now covered in his own creation! "What was that for!?"

"Tha' tastes baad!!" Jade held the cup away and leaned over the sink again. Lesson learned: do not take a gulp of something just because a finger covered in it tastes good...

"Well..." Peony sighed and Natalia took the glass. "The only thing I can think of is..." he whispered in Natalia and Asch's ears. Obviously this was something that Jade wouldn't like...

Jade gasped. They were taking his ice cream away!! He jumped off the counter, still ignoring the strange feeling in his stomach, and ran down the hall. It was time for another run through the palace while they tried to catch him...

Jade didn't get very far however. About half way down the hall, he stopped, leaned over, and threw up something pink, orange and green-ish.

"...Now that's just...ew." Peony held his nose with one hand and held Jade with the other. "Can we get some one to clean this up?" he called, and a maid appeared as if from no where with a mop.

"Please tell me this is over..." Asch groaned as he leaned against the wall.

"Don't worry Asch. This will all be over soon." Natalia patted his shoulder.

"Damn it! I'm supposed to be searching for the Jewel of Lorelei!" Asch growled.

"Hey! Language!" Peony called.

"And what am I doing? Messing around with toddlers...messy...annoying...bratty...stupid..." he walked off to change. Muttering something about 'evil Necromancer's in the form of toddlers'...

* * *

While Peony, Natalia, and now Tear and Guy, who'd recently woken up, tried to make Jade feel better, Luke slept on. Across the room from the sleeping red head, Anise also woke up. She moaned, rubbing her head. Every bone in her body hurt...She rubbed her eyes...When did she get in Grand Chokmah? Weren't they just in Baticul?

...Why the hell was she naked?!

"Eh..Anise?" Luke asked. How he woke up so soon, I don't know. "Oh, you're awake...Ack!" he noticed she was naked. "What the?!"

Anise screamed. "LUKE!! YOU PERVERT!! GET OUT!!! GET OUT!!! GET. OUT!!!!!!!!!!"

Luke scrambled for the door, yelling. "AAH!!! I'M SORRYYY!!!!"

Anise wrapped the blanket around her, her face beet red. She shuffled through drawer after drawer, trying to find her clothes. What the heck was going on?! Finally she found a pink dress much like her own(she had no idea what happened to that), and threw it on. She could still hear Luke's yells.

"I'M SCARRED!!! SCARRED FOR LIFE!!!"

Suddenly Tear walked in. "Anise! Oh Anise you're back to normal!" Tear threw her arms around the smaller girl.

"Tear?! Wh-what's going on?!" 'Why are you hugging me?!' is what she wanted to say, but that would be rude.

"Oh it's been horrible!" Tear said. "I'm sorry! Luke and I tried that arte, you were all toddlers and-and-"

"Calm down Tear! So, I was a...toddler for a bit...Was I bad?" Anise asked nervously.

Tear twitched. Twice. Three times. Suddenly Asch burst in. He appeared to be covered in ice cream...

"Bad!? BAD?! Oh BAD is an UNDER STATEMENT!!! IF WE WEREN'T ON THE SAME SIDE I WOULD BEAT YOU AND THAT-THAT NECROMANCER INTO THE GROUND!!!"

"What are you talking about?!" Anise exclaimed.

"Don't worry Anise!" Natalia entered behind the raging red head. "He's just a little angry, that's all!" she shuffled him out the door.

Anise was vaguely aware that Tear was still hugging her. "Um..Tear?"

"Oh! S-sorry Anise." Tear blushed a little.

"It's okay...What was Asch talking about?"

"Um..You know, I think that's...a story for another time! Let's go see the others!!!" Tear started to push her out of the room. Peony walked in-still holding Jade-before they could exit.

"Good news! He just had to throw up, and he was good!" Peony held up the now-grinning toddler.

"Who?" Anise asked.

"Anise!" Peony noticed the teenager standing in front of him.

"Yes! Me! Why is every one so...crazy?" Anise asked.

"That, my friend," Peony placed a hand on her shoulder. "is a story for another day. For now, meet Jade!" he set the boy down in front of her.

"What?!" Anise stared at the little boy in front of her. This was the Colonel?! "This is the Colonel!? Now way!!"

Jade tilted his head. "Coal...nal??"

Anise knelt on her knees so she was at eye level with Jade. "What;s you're name?"

"Jade!" Jade said happily. "What abou' you? I don' know you..." he trailed off.

"I'm Anise!"

Jade took a step back, shaking his head. "No...You can't Anise...Anise is only this big..." he held up his hand, just below the top of his head. He looked up at Tear and Peony. "Where's Anise?"


	11. Day 11 The Thunder Storm

Oh well, I missed Christmas. Sorry guys! But I'm sorry again, as this will be a bit of a short chapter. I couldn't help it, but it had to be done. The next chapter shall be the last... And very funny. That's how I'll make it up to you guys. Humor.

I don't own ToA!

Read on!!

* * *

It was dark outside, clouds swirled in the sky, and rain poured down on the capital of Grand Chokmah as if the very houses of the gods were flooded. Inside, everyone was quiet, waiting for the storm to end as lightning crashed. Not a sound was made...

_CRASH!!_ "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!"

Except for that... Let's take a closer look... Inside the palace, little children and Emperor's alike were running through the halls. By that I mean Jade was running, screaming for dear life through the palace, while Peony, Luke, Guy, Natalia, Asch, Tear, and Anise, and that rappig gave chase.

However, that rappig will be missed, as it has nothing to do with this.

"J-Jade please, it's just a thunder storm!" Tear tried to calm the screaming boy. "It won't hurt you!"

"I don't think that's working..." Anise said as Jade ran back into their bedroom for the fifth time, Only to have them all chase him around the beds and run back out again. Lightning crashed and thunder rolled across the sky, causing Jade to scream some more.

"Jeez," Peony panted. "I never knew...he was so cared of thunder storms!!!"

"I think scared is a bit of an understatement..." Guy said.

Anise had an idea. "Look, I'm going to stay here, because he's obviously going to run back in here." she said.

"Right, and if we catch him then, we'll come back here." Luke nodded, then ran to catch up with said toddler and Emperor.

Anise sat on the bed, panting. Half the reason she stayed here was to catch Jade when he ran back in, and to lay down, because she was tired! Seriously, when you turn back into a teen from a toddler and then start running laps around the palace, your legs hurt. A lot.

Jade's screams seemed to grow more and less distant as he moved through the palace at top speed.

Minutes passed...

* * *

Luke ran into Peony around a corner for the third time. "Did you find him?"

"No, it's like hid-and-seek all over again!" Peony gasped. They had lost track of the screaming child, who had stopped screaming. Therefor, they no longer had a guide to help them find said child.

"Great. This is just fantastic..." Luke and Peony both ran off again. Only for Peony to run into Guy around the next corner.

"Have you seen him?"

"No,have you?"

"No." They both leaned against the wall, panting. "Maybe he ran back to the room."

"Or maybe Tear got him..."

"Okay! Let's go!" This time, both Guy and Peony ran in the same direction. Only to have Guy run flat into a wall in order to avoid Tear.

"We haven't seen him, have you?" Peony cut right to the chase. Tear shook her head.

"I doubt Luke has him though. Jade doesn't seem to enjoy his company." she said.

"Yeah, wanna check if he ran into the room?" Peony asked.

"What if he ran into...that room?" Guy said, referring to Peony's room full of boxes. "A room full of boxes, he may have hid himself in there."

"You have a point. Here's the plan." Peony pulled a blue print from his pocket of the palace. "I'll go here, you go there."

"...Where?" Tear asked.

"There."

"You aren't pointing to anything!" Tear took the map and did something that no one in the world would dare to do-except for Jade, toddler and adult form- she took the map, rolled it up and whacked the Emperor over the head. "Quit fooling around! Let's go!" Guy and Peony then proceeded to 'the box room' while she headed back to the room.

While this happened, Asch stood behind Tear, not moving. He was NOT getting whacked by that map...

--

Natalia was alone, standing just outside the courtyard, watching the rain come down in buckets. She had to get to that door on the other side...but how? There was only one way to do it... It would be a daring move, but there was no other way...

--

Jade ran faster as lighting flashed once again outside. Some how, he'd lost everyone. God, they couldn't scold him for causing a 'ruckus', what ever that was. They weren't behind him anymore. Although he did run into Luke and Guy in the box room, not that they saw him, he just saw them. Meanie fat head...

He ran back into the bedroom for the sixth time, intent on diving under the covers. However, a certain black haired impostor had other ideas. 'Anise' was waiting inside the room, and shut the door as soon as Jade ran.

"Jade, please wait!" she tried to catch his arm, but he ran to the other side of the room.

"What do you want? Jus' leave me alone!" Jade said."How do you even know who I am?"

"Because I'm Anise!" Anise tried to say, but Jade wouldn't except it.

"No you're not! You're just-" The next second, Anise had an arm-full of crying Jade as the lightning faded away.

"Huh?" Anise's eyebrows went up slightly as Jade shuddered in her arms. She slowly wrapped her arms around him, in case he tried to get away. It didn't look like that would happen. "Jade... Are you alright? Come on, you don't have to be scared..." She picked him up, and sat on the bed, patting his back.

"I-it's loud, and it hurts my ears... And it scares me..." Jade muttered, digging his head into her chest. "A-and Anise isn't here either..."

Anise sighed quietly. She ran her fingers through his hair, and decide to play along. "Jade, what did you and... Anise do together anyway?"

"She was my friend, and now she's gone... We painted one of Peony's rappigs..." he trailed off.

Anise twitched a bit. They...painted...a rappig...?

"And we were the last ones to be caught when we played hide n' seek... And we had ice cream together... But I don't think the red head meanies like us..."

Anise's face twitched. She wasn't sure now if she WANTED to remember being a toddler. "Don't worry, she'll come back. She's your friend... Friends will always come back to you. I'll...stay with you until she does."

"...Promise?" Jade asked quietly.

Anise nodded. "Promise."

* * *

Unknown to Anise and Jade, there was a small crowd outside the door consisting of Peony, Luke, Guy, Tear, and Asch. They waited quietly for the right chance to come in. Suddenly, wet feet could be heard behind them.

"N-Natalia?!" Asch gasped quietly. "What happened?!"

Natalia stood behind the group, soaked to the bone. "I tried to...run through the courtyard, to the other side...It was horrible!" she stammered, shivering heavily.

"Hey, I think they're asleep!" Luke whispered after a few moments. Indeed, Anise had fallen asleep with Jade still clinging to her shirt.

Tear smiled, walked in quietly and took a blanket from one of the other beds, spreading it over the two. "Let's call it a day..."

"Indeed. Now if you don't mind, I need to give my cute little Jade another bath... stupid paint.." Peony muttered darkly as he walked off.

Asch quickly fetched a towel for Natalia, and Guy said something about happy couples. This caused Asch to whack him over the head with his fist, not a map...

It was finally quiet in the palace... almost...

"H-hey! Come back Jade! You can't run around like that, covered in soap! Get back here!"

* * *

Later that night, when the full moon finally broke through the storm, and the waves were coming softly to the shore once again, everybody was fast asleep. But nobody noticed a soft blue glow coming from the window of the second floor guest room...


	12. The Finale

Well, here it is. The final chapter of The Arte of Toddlers. Ys, the laughs will be missed, and so will our toddler friends, but our heroes must get on with their adventures so that Asch may not explode from stress.

I'd like to thank my reviewers, though the list is not long(only one page phuu....), they reviewed, and told me(in some cases) they are scared of little kids. Fear not, the children in this story do NOT act like real kids. DO NOT. This is a humor story, how else are they supposed to act? But some kids do act like that, sometimes... And I'm thanking the even longer list-thankfully- of people who favorited this, or alerted it. You didn't review, but the fact that this is on your list of favs is pretty good for me!

Now, to the story!!! I do not own ToA, for the last time in this story.

And, also for the final time in this story:

Read on!!

* * *

_**If only they had decided to all sleep in the same room, instead of leaving those two alone...**_

* * *

**Now, when a 35 year old man wakes up naked in a bed with a 13 year old girl, he would be arrested, right? Right? Well, when a 35 year old _COLONEL_, wakes up naked in a bed with a 13 year old _FON MASTER GUARDIAN_, the circumstances are COMPLETELY different.  
**

* * *

"!!!!OHMYGOOOD!!!!!!!!!!" This, extremely loud and high pitched scream woke everyone in the palace-and possibly the city-and everyone from maids to rappigs came running to the second floor guest room.

Jade's face was redder than even Asch's hair, he sat cross-legged on the bed, the blanket gathered around his waist as to hide his...naked...ness... Peony was nearly dying of laughter as he tried to get some clothes for the extremely embarrassed Colonel. Tried. He was laughing to hard to see clearly.

If Jade's face was red, it was nothing compared to Anise, who had flung herself across the room the moment she woke up. Her face was a deep red, as if all the blood in her body had gathered there. She was rocking back and forth, covering her eyes, yelling "I'm scarred for life! Oh my god I saw the colonel NAKED!!!" Tear quickly dragged her out of the room when Peony returned-still laughing himself silly-so that Jade could change.

Tear herself was slightly embarrassed, seeing Jade with nothing but a blanket around his waist. Luke was on the floor laughing like there was no tomorrow, as was Peony.

Asch was torn between relief and the urge to laugh. If only he had something to remember this by... A picture, or something. This was just too great. The famous Necromancer, with nothing but a blanket in a bed with a young girl. Oh yes, revenge was sweet.

Natalia covered her mouth when she saw what the commotion was. "Oh dear! The Colonel back to normal...but why is he wearing a blanket?"

Guy laughed nervously, also torn between embarrassment and the urge to run to a quiet room and laugh. "Uh, there's a good reason for that...sort of... Let's just go and uh, let him change..."

Needless to say, Peony's laughter could be heard throughout the palace, even when Jade finally appeared behind him, quite annoyed and embarrassed, still red in the face. However, Peony and Luke only laughed harder, as Peony was unable to find anything but a spare copy of his own clothes.

"Ahem." Jade coughed indignantly into his hand. His face displayed that he was obviously not seeing the funny...ness in this situation. "Peony..."

"Oh god-Jade-Ahaha! I-I'm s-sorry! Oh god! Oh jeez! Ahahaha!! It's just-It's just-AHAHA!!!" Peony couldn't form a complete sentence. This annoyed Jade even further.

"May I ask what happened while I was...not myself?" Jade asked the group. Asch was the only one able to complete a sentence.

However, it wa sonly out of rage. "_DON'T. REMIND. ME_." He yelled. "OH YOU THINK THAT YOU WOULD BE THE QUIETEST LITTLE..._THING_, DON'T YOU?!?!" he yelled in the Colonel's face. "WELL YOU'RE _WRONG_! AND LET ME TELL YOU THIS!! I AM NEVER. EVER. _EVER_! COMING NEAR YOU WITH ICE CREAM! _NEVER_!!!"

This cause said Colonel to step back. Asch continued yelling at the top of his lungs.

"YOU ARE THE _WORST_ THING THAT I HAVE _EVER_ HAD THE DISPLEASURE TO MEET! IF YOU THINK YOU WERE BAD, YOU'RE _WRONG_! BAD IS AN _UNDERSTATEMENT_!! YOU WERE THE WORST!! I SHOULD HAVE NEVER COME HERE! I'M NEVER GOING TO GET THE ICE CREAM OR APPLE JUICE OUT OF MY UNIFORM, AND IT'S _ALL YOUR FAULT_!!!" He jabbed a finger at Jade. He finally stopped yelling breathing deeply, with a quite stunned Jade standing in front of him.

"Well then..." Jade paused, listening to Peony's less than silent laughter. "So to sum it all up-"

"You were...No offense Jade..." Luke gasped. "But you're the worst toddler...I think anyone will ever come across..."

"You know, you're the one that gave him the ice cream." Tear sighed.

"Shut up! He ASKED for it! I didn't know that would happen!" Luke exclaimed. "Be happy that Peony hasn't skinned us alive for that!"

"For what?" Jade asked. He took note that Anise still hadn't come out of her muttering corner.

"Hey come one guys!" Guy chucked. "Jade might not be the...best artist, but that rappig did look...interesting..." he trailed off.

Everyone save for Anise, Asch and Peony and Jade started laughing. Jade only sighed, Peony whined that he would never get the paint out of his cute little Jade's fur, and Anise just muttered something about seeing naked men.

"Well! Now that this is over! I'm leaving! I WAS supposed to be searching for the jewel, in case you've all forgotten." Asch said, he quickly muttered a good-bye to Natalia and stalked off. Shuddering every few steps, trying to shake off the memories of the last few days. He appeared to have gotten rid of almost all of his built up stress cause by the Colonel. But because of those stains in his uniform, the memories would last...who know how long.

"So..." Anise finally came out of her corner. "What now?" Indeed, they were al standing in this hallway, doing nothing. Although every ones attention seemed to be drawn to Jade and Peony's matching clothing every few seconds. This cause Anise's face to turn red once more. Jade coughed in to his hand again.

"Well...I think Jade needs some uh, new clothes.." Huy said nervously.

"Right!" Peony grinned sudden;y. "I have a spare one in my room!" he grabbed Jade's arm and started pulling him to his room.

"Your Majesty, may I ask why there is a spare copy of my uniform in your bedroom?" Jade asked, he had to keep holding the pants he wore, as they were much baggier than he was used to.

"Because, I fooled around with it a little. I hope you know it's the only one I have, or you have, so either you wear it or-pfsh-" Peony snorted and continued. "Go naked back to Baticul to get your original one..."

Jade walked slightly quicker.

"Shall we wait for the Colonel to return?" Natalia asked.

"I guess, what else are we supposed to do?" Guy shrugged.

Luke sighed. "It's going to be boring now..."

"Don't tell me you enjoyed seeing Asch so angry?" Natalia exclaimed.

"No!" Luke shook his head. "I just...Okay yeah, I did! I didn't think any one would ever yell at Jade like that!" he laughed.

"Well remember it then. I don't think we'll see anything as..er, funny as this even for a while." Guy said. Unfortunately(in some cases), he was wrong. Two voices echoed through the palace.

"Peony? What have you done?!"

"AHAHAHAHAA!!! Oh Man!! It's either that, or go naked!!"

This caused Anise to yell again. "Augh!!! I'm scarred for life!!!!"

* * *

Needless to say, when people would say that they would like to see the colonel wearing something other than his uniform Anise would be able to say that not only has she seen him with no uniform, she's seen him with NOTHING AT ALL.

Anise would never be able to look at Jade again without a naked image of him replacing the real one...

* * *

AN-Seriously though, can anyone imagine Jade naked?


End file.
